Poo Happens

Ben pooped no less than five times yesterday, and today he’s pooped three more times and it’s only four o’clock! Plus one poop this morning by Jared and that makes nine poopy diapers that I’ve changed in about twenty four hours. UGGHHH!!! Plus, some of Ben’s poops have just been little sharts, which you might think are better than big poops, but you’d be making the biggest mistake of your life if you thought that. See, the sharts are stealthy poops. They have a near indiscernible scent and are invisible from outside of the diaper, so Ben runs around with no poopy diaper symptoms. Meanwhile the poo is doing what poo does when it’s allowed to make extended contact with diaper wearing bums, it eats them! At least that’s what it seems like, because now he has a nasty, nasty rash that makes him walk around like he just got off a horse. Than he poops another twenty times, and do you think he enjoys it when I wipe his nasty, rashy bum? Oh no, he kicks and screams, making the chances of me wiping his poopy bum without getting it on my hands, and on the changing table, and on his feet, and whatever else you can think of, in the neighborhood of almost zero. Than I have to apply the ointment. Can I just say that if the neighbors can hear Ben scream, it should only be moments before Child Protective Services knocks on my door.

The good news is that Jared can hold his own bottle now, as of yesterday, so while I was changing poopy diaper number nine Jared fed himself.