At night Marie feeds Jared in bed, and they both fall asleep. Sometimes I’m the one who puts Jared back in his playpen. When I do, I pick him up to put him back, but he’s so sweet, and beautiful that I just want to hold him for a little while first.
Tonight I sat in a chair and held him, and stared at his sleeping face, and I thought about life. I’m terrified of losing someone that I love. I always have been. Nothing scares me worse, especially when it comes to my boys. I pray every day for the safety of my family, and the people that I love. One of life’s great injustices is when a parent outlives his child. I beg my Father in Heaven that it’s a lesson that I don’t learn from experience.
My cousin Kent died a few months ago. It hurts me just to think of the pain that his Mother went through.
So, I’m still staring at Jared, hoping that I go before he does, and I start to think that maybe birthdays aren’t as overrated as I’ve come to think. I guess that every year you can add to your tally is cause for celebration. Right? Life is a wonderful, beautiful thing. I’m just happy I could be here.
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